I cannot apologize for being born as a privileged white male.
I had no choice in the matter.
I cannot apologize for being raised as a privileged white male.
I had no choice in the matter.
But somewhere between then and now I could have done something
About what does matter.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m confident that if everyone behaved as I have,
These issues wouldn’t matter.
But they don’t and the world is not improving enough in these matters.
Here's what I hope that I can help make matter.
Black Lives Fucking Do Matter
And about that apology; I recognize I have descended from people and policies that have hurt others. I'm sorry that happened and I'm sorry you may be affected today from that.
Having started on-line dating also started me on self-reflection.
So far, I get no bonus points.
But I’m happy to be on the journey.
I’ve been disturbed by questions I can’t answer.
I drove through Gettysburg, PA. It is a quaint town in the small, New England’ish genre. However, it is a famous name, unlike many of it’s neighbors.
Because a lot of violence was visited upon it.
And a president made a short, but inspiring speech afterwards.
Here is the ending of that speech:
“that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
Why would soldiers of the South die for a cause (slavery) that they were not the beneficiaries of?
Is it hypocrisy for the North, who won their freedom by revolting against their current government, declare that others don’t have that same freedom?
Did freedom prevail?
Was that the best way to end slavery in the United States?
Is our government “of the people, by the people, for the people”?
What will men in power do to retain their privilege?
Would you (or I) act differently?
Like a magnet, irony sticks to me.
The starting premise of this blog was that on-line dating mystified me (along with life) and I was going to start traveling and learning. So, just a little ahead of the times, I jettisoned most of my belongings (irony alert) and readied myself to AirBnB across the country.
And instead of that adventure, I broke my driving foot and found a girlfriend.
In my yearbook, I have now labeled 2018 as my Year of Therapy.
Yes, in my past, I had considered therapy as a sign of weakness.
That superior attitude certainly did not prevent my BM (Big Meltdown).
So, ironically, guess what my new found girlfriend does? Yes, she is a therapist.
One thing you can say about me is I’m honest and brave. And stupid.
Anything she asked me I tried to answer.
There were a lot of questions.
And a few tears.
When I started out our relationship I probably had the EQ of a snail. However, I was already writing poetry so let’s just call me an idiot savant. By the time we broke up at the end of the year (yes, on her birthday) I had raised my EQ a lot and you could now just call me an idiot.
So, I watched the film: Paterson
It is about poetry, with a strong nod to William Carlos Williams.
While I was watching the movie, I was mostly not liking it.
Then about 98.5% through, there was a terrific scene. No spoiler alerts here.
Upon contemplation, I ended up thinking the movie was very good.
And I believe there is a take-away philosophical line:
You are not what you created; you are what you will create.
In the “say what you mean and mean what you say” department.
I just got a “Like”. Who doesn’t like a little affirmation? It’s a start.
So I headed over to her profile and started reading. Pretty well written.
But there are details that seem problematic. So I wrote her:
You know what I don't get about people?
If your profile is accurate then:
I'm not tall enough, rich enough, too spiritual and not a Democrat.
My god, how could you ever love me? Don
Any wonder I haven’t found my new life-partner yet?
She wrote back:
There is a good reason why you are single. If you can’t respect
a woman and one that knows what she wants, you don’t deserve to
have that person.
You have the qualities.��
There are probably several reasons I am single. I’m not thinking lack of respect is one. I’m thinking I don’t know the meaning of a “Like”.