philosophyon-line dating#10

I said I was ok, and really, I am. But, lastly, one more episode of navel gazing and then I’ll get to the stories.

What is wrong with me
   when I’m crying the day I am born?
   when I see day care more than my parents?
   when I don’t get elected Vice President of my 5th grade class?
   when my family moves and I never see my best friend again?
   when I grow long hair in Texas, before Willie, and it’s not cool?
   when I’m blitzed to buy everything I don’t need?
   when I’m told to not eat eggs?
   when I’m told to take drugs?
   when my tax money bombs woman and children?
   when I cant drive to work because of riots?
   when my date cancels, day of, me holding the tickets?
   when my next date cancels, day of, me holding the tickets?
   when the glove doesn’t fit?


philosophyon-line dating#9

There are some stories to tell.

My first serious relationship generated by on-line dating ended in December.  Let me get the awkward, self pity out of the way; I wrote:

I forgot that I didn't know.
I found love and made love.
I have the poems, photos and memories.
I know you wouldn't tell someone who speaks with a stutter
  to just start speaking clearly.
But I love with a stutter.  I'm ashamed of it; I'm embarrassed.
I don't know where it came from, why it was visited upon me.
I'm ashamed I hadn't fixed it, that I thought I was ready for coupling.
That was my ego.
For having made that mistake, I ruined your year.
I'm sorry.

Ok, self flagellation is good, but back to the serious business of life.
Yes, I will throw myself back into the on-line dating rodeo.
Maybe tomorrow.
After I tell a few more stories.


There is
No one else holding me in their arms.
                       whispering in my ear.
                        letting me deep inside them.
There is
No one else touching me so.
                      listening so.
                       laughing so.
When I look in your eyes
I'm looking for a reflection.
Not like from a mirror,
But because your love is beaming back.

There is no one else.



Spring erupting,
Fueling the rise of flowers.
Splashing out the greens.
Blowing away the browns.

Breath deep,
Throw the windows open.
Lighten the dress.
Restart the pumping heart.

Kick up heels,
Head into the breeze.
Splash in the rain.
Chase all the rainbows.


Poem #97

Alone but hung over.
Together in my heart.
Had to go.
Was it to sow?

Sights to see.
People to meet.
Miles to go.
Was it to sow?

Alcohol involved.
Music too loud.
Dollars to blow.
Was it to sow?

Close to home.
You have doubts.
But I know.
Was it to sow?

It’s not a search.
I’ve found my place.
No baggage in tow.
And that is so.


The shape of your body,
The color of your eyes,
Memories keep me going,
While time slowly flies.

Away on a story,
Out seeking some fun,
Staying up quite late,
Laying out in the sun.

But better it will be,
When our schedules finally meet,
Together, not memories
Generating some heat.